Ich halte von dem Begriff „Großziehen“ an sich nicht viel, weil er sehr einseitig ist und nur die Eltern als Aktive sieht, während das Kind passiv „großgezogen wird“ ohne Möglichkeit auf eigene, selbstbestimmte Entfaltung. Trotzdem fand ich es als Gegenstück zum „Kleinhalten“ irgendwie passend. Ich bin sehr überbehütet großgeworden. Meine Mutter wollte immer nur „das Beste“ für mich und mich vor allen Gefahren dieser Welt beschützen. Das ehrt sie sehr, aber geholfen hat sie mir damit nicht (immer).
„Das ist zu gefährlich!“
„Da bist du noch zu klein für!“
„Das kannst du doch noch gar nicht, ich mach das schnell!“
Mein Vertrauen in mich selber wurde direkt im Keim erstickt, wenn ich doch mal etwas wagen wollte. Interessanter Weise erzählt meine Mutter heute gerne, dass ich ja alles ausprobieren durfte und es kaum Verbote in meiner Kindheit gab – wie unterschiedlich doch die Wahrnehmungen sind!
Diese und ähnliche Sätze führten dazu, dass ich mir im Laufe der Zeit immer weniger zugetraut habe. Das versuche ich gar nicht erst, das kann ich eh nicht, andere können das bestimmt besser… Immer drauf auf den Kopf mit dem Kleinmach-Hammer. Heute muss ich wieder ganz neu lernen, mir selbst zu vertrauen. Meinen Gefühlen, meiner Intuition, meinem Können. Und so schmerzlich diese Erkenntnis auch ist, sie hat ein Gutes: Ich kann es bei meinen Kindern anders machen.
„Du willst das ausprobieren? Komm, ich zeigs dir!“
„Da oben willst du hoch? Schau mal, da musst du noch etwas wachsen, aber bis dahin lass es uns doch zusammen versuchen.“
Und wenn doch mal ein Glas verschüttet wird, wischen wir es einfach zusammen auf und erzählen lachend, dass uns das selbst auch schon so oft mal passiert ist. Als meine Mutter das neulich mitbekam, hatte sie Tränen in den Augen: „Wir wurden für sowas früher ganz doll bestraft.“ Ach Mama. 🙁
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